Images of things I cannot hold
by Moon Bunny
Summary: Harry fic. I've seemed to go into a Harry mood. Ah well. A couple thoughts on his parents. Doesn't go with 'It's times like these' my other Harry fic...but It could. Please R/r !!


  
  
** Images of things I cannot hold.**

  
  
"Did ya hear?" Ron had a huge grin on his freckled face as he leaned a gainst Harry's bed.  
"Hear what?" Harry inquired, but of course he already knew. The entire school had been babbling about it. Everyone from first years on up to seventh, and the news didn't skip the 5th year Gryffindor's by any means.  
"The thing... where my parents and any parents who want to come can look at Hogwarts. My family is going to come! So is Hermione's and Seamus' and..."  
"I get the point." As soon as Harry said it he realized how harsh he was being.  
"Oh." Ron's eyes became filled with some emotion Harry could not identify, pity perhaps. "Anyway, it's next week. I can't wait!"  
Harry forced a grin at his friends enthusiasm, he didn't want to dampen his sprits, besides... "Yeah. I know... so anyway, do you have your homework completed for Transfiguration."  
Ron grimaced. "No. McGonnagall doesn't want to be nice to us this year does she? Every year more and more homework... I do not know how I'm going to survive my seventh year..."  
"Neither do I." Harry meant it a little more literally than what it sounded, but it slid right past his friend. "I need to get to sleep, Goodnight Ron."  
"Night Harry. I've got to finish that homework."  
"You can look at mine. It's in my trunk. Don't take anything else out though."  
"I won't."  
Ron opened the trunk. He had been in it a few times before. On the lid were pictures of Harry, himself, Hermione, a picture of Harry as a baby with two smiling people who he assumed were his parents. Some high school pictures of his parents. One of Sirius, one of Lupin much younger, and a group shot of Sirius, Lupin and he assumed the man with the messy black hair and the deep brown eyes was James. He tore his eyes from the moving pictures, and found his homework parchment neatly rolled up. There wasn't much in his trunk, Ron realized, but then again, at Hogwarts you didn't need much. He thought for a moment, he literally brought everything he owned to Hogwarts. Ron shook his head, and closed the lid. He'd return the parchment in the morning.  
  
"Come on!! Everyone is arriving Harry!" Ron yelled as he dragged a reluctant Harry down the staircase.  
"I don't want to..." Harry was protesting, but in Ron's excitement he didn't think about what Harry was saying.  
At the bottom of the staircase Hermione was waiting.  
"Hey Ron! Harry! Everyone is waiting in the great hall! It is the first time my parents have ever been in a wizard setting ! I haven't seen them since the start of school..."  
  
Harry lagged behind not really wanting to be a part of it. No one he knew was coming, so why did it matter?  
The great hall was full of students, wizards and muggle parents.  
"Look!! There is Dad!! I didn't think he'd be able to make it...with everything going on at the ministry !" Ron said.  
"Harry! Come with me!!" Hermione grabbed Harry's arm, and he protested, alas to no avail, and soon he was face to face with Mr. and Mrs. Granger.  
  
Mr. Granger was a tall and lean man with slick brown hair that was brushed back over a slight bald spot. He was wearing a dress shirt and khakis. Ms. Granger had bushy brown hair like Hermione, glasses that covered sweet blue eyes and a welcoming smile as she hugged her daughter. Harry grimaced on the inside,' why can't I have a family like that?' he thought silently. Hermione caught a flicker of sadness in his gaze, putting it all together. She decided to hold her tounge.   
"Harry, this is my mother and father, Mom, Dad, this is Harry Potter."  
"Hi." Harry said quietly.  
Mr. Granger's eyes slid up and down Harry. "Hello. Hermione has talked a lot about you. You seem to be a very brave boy."  
"Err...Thank you."  
"We would," Mrs. Granger said to Harry "Like to meet your parents, if there here of course."  
  
Harry grimaced slightly. "No."He said softly. "They're not here."  
Then without warning, he turned and walked away, leaving Hermione to explain his situation. He felt two pairs of eyes with pity filling them burn into his back, but he wasn't going to turn around.  
  
He wanted to go back up to the dorm room to get away from all this, but Ron caught him and dragged him over to see the entire Weasley family.   
Mrs. Weasley gave Harry a hug and a cheerful hello, as Harry greeted everyone.  
"I thought this was a parent thing." Harry said, noticing the whole family, including Bill, Charley and Percy who were now out of Hogwarts.  
Bill and Charley grinned "We'd figured we'd surprise out little bros by showing up anyway. It is a family event after all."  
"Yeah, it is." Harry agreed. He chattered with them politely, but tried hurriedly to make his way out of the crowd. Finally finding a chance he made is way up back to the boy's firth year dormitory. He was glad that on one else was there. Blessed solitude.  
  
He opened his trunk and took out the photo album that the gamekeeper Hadgrid had given him. Pictures of his parents and friends waved and winked at him, but it didn't help clear his mind. Normally when he missed them, like this, he'd look through pictures to comfort him a bit, but this time it wasn't working. Pictures couldn't bring them back to him and he was aware of that. They were images. Images of people who couldn't hold him, couldn't tell him that everything could be okay. That couldn't give him comfort, love or a home. Images that could give him nothing, only the instinctive yearning of a child. He didn't even understand what it was. Nothing could bring them back. He sighed. Running a hand through his hair, he looked around the quiet room. All the beds were empty, every area clean and neat. Nothing was really out of place, it was too quiet in here. Like the Dursely's at night. Nothing moved giving him time to think about things he didn't want to think about. 'calm down. Your being silly' he thought to himself. He sighed. He might as well go downstairs and talk to someone... Surronded by so many Family's that cared. Surely someone's family didn not come.... was his the only one... was he the only one without a family to come? Even Neville's grandmother came. Neville's parents had gone insane... he knew, but he wouldn't tell Neville that he knew. That would be impolite, and Neville would be ready to tell him when he wanted to. Neville was probably the only boy he knew the wrath of Voldemort to the extent he did.   
A soft voice came from behind him. "Harry?"  
"Ron! Hi. Why aren't you with your family?" He tried to hide the photo album resting on his lap.  
0 "I was. They were bugging me with 'ikkle ronnikens'." Harry laughed.  
"Yeah. I'd want to get away from that to." Or would I? It would be my family...  
Ron grinned. "Hermione wanted me to come up here. To..."  
"I'm fine! Why is everyone worried about me? Why does everyone pity me?!" He was tired and temperamental. He sighed, "I'm sorry Ron... I'm just a little...stressed."  
Ron grin faltered a bit. "Yeah, I know. The offer stands if you want to talk..."  
"I know I know. I'm coming down. Let me put this up."  
Closing the book, he debated on Ron's offer. After a moment, he said softly to himself "This is something I must bare on my own. They need to be naive of Voldemort's power, or they will also be driven crazy by fear. Maybe, maybe one day when this is all over..."  
But Harry knew that would not be for a long time, and he also knew that he may not survive. He knew the pain was better off on his own... he may hurt someone, like he had hurt Cedric's parents. He wasn't dragging anyone else into this. It was his fight, and his alone.  
  
Thankies to my editor!! <--that sounds soo professional. Now, how many times do authors have to stress this  
  
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and I'll be happy:) *grin*  



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